Tag: priorities

books, creativity, language, medicine, relationships, solitude, take it easy, work

the Law of Conservation of Energy

Posted on by Dmitry

Law of Conservation of Energy.

All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream. Edgar Allan Poe.

No, we’re not going to talk too much about Physics. maybe toward the end there.

Maybe I’m a weak writer. But I like to think that I am stingy with writing because women were always stingy with sex. Well, except that one time.

What I had in mind was writing a tale about a fellow who progressively does less.. and less, and less.. until he turns into.. some kind of plant. Some oak trees live for centuries. Did I get that from somewhere? Someone? I don’t know.. Probably. Let me know if it sounds familiar. nothing comes to mind right now.

What is it now.. almost 40. Well. Like I said before.. I’ve outlived J.K. Toole.. and that guy who wrote Leaving Las Vegas. O’Brien. I still like to see a doctor once a year. He usually says something about my liver enzymes. The only real question I have is if I’ll live long enough to get Social security. Free money, at last.

Almost daily I am horrified by things my parents say. Horrified. But, they’re the employable ones in this household. Explain that to me. It is only by confusing and distracting these “normal” people do we get to avoid Apocalypse. They never get enough time to put their foolishness into action. I do. they always have some fucking appointment.. or bill to pay.. some equally insane relatives to talk to.

I do not bother my head about these things…

I watch people run around as if they have cancer (terminal), but to me it seems like they really just forgot to water their plants. Once. Why do you need so many plants?

So, you see, for all practical purposes, I have cracked immortality. I have something like 8500 days left until retirement. What.. what haven’t I done. Always wanted a boat, I guess. But the nice ones are expensive. Would I like to travel somewhere? No. I don’t…

A few weeks ago I figured out I can pee and brush my teeth simultaneously. I used to not brush my teeth at all for weeks.. sometimes. but now, I realized I do have a free hand for most of the time that I am peeing. So I can be slightly more presentable. Remember that? We always get what we need. But not always what we want. Peeing, in the bathroom is a pretty hard requirement. Everything else is kind of a wish-list item. I don’t really see what I get out of it.

What. what are we Really here for? I watched one of the movies about Yogananda recently. As the prospective disciple bows, the great Guru asks if he struggles with Sex, Wine or Money.

No, sir. Not a problem at all. if there’s money, I usually buy Sex. And wine. Hehe. He didn’t say that. I did.

No, I suppose I’m not monk material. But I always had some suspicion that there must be some logic behind all the insanity I see. In the mind of God, at some quantum level, if you go far enough back.. or deep into the cells and atoms, maybe I’ll figure something out and things will make sense. Maybe I’ve got to help the person I screwed over 7 lifetimes ago. and THEN I would feel complete and satisfied. But where is this person? I need a sign.

Time to go see the Doctor, I guess.

imdb.com/title/tt3197802/

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babies, communication, environment, life, love, money, relationships, school, solitude, take it easy, work

AUTOBIOGRAPHY

Posted on by Dmitry

And if there is one sure sign in Hegel’s philosophy that history isn’t over, of course it’s a war. Because there are embodied people in struggle with different views about what freedom is and how to live. RICK RODERICK

well. I guess today I was inspired by a recent publication on Augustine of Hippo (Linked below) to add some more words about my own sad, little life.

I began to pray. what did I pray? I prayed. GOD is there anything left for me to do.. on God’s green earth?

I guess I was a little suicidal. But. I prayed.

God.. God usually tells me to Lie a little less. or never.

You know.. Ma.. ma never lets me down.. I guess.. Ma knows I fucked her like no man ever could. Right? hehehehehe..

Sorry. maybe that’s a little too much. Ma always likes to say Oh we’re just little people from the middle of nowhere.. some little village in Russia or Belarus or Ukraine or some shit.

And I think she sincerely believes it.. Humility is a virtue!

But she knows very well that her parents were Military officers who worked abroad who definitely had some power in the ol’ Soviet system at least. and that’s why they got to reproduce so quickly.. and I had nice bikes and Camels.. where’s the fucking camel? There’s a picture of the camel somewhere.. well. you know.

What is it that drove these people.. my parents to Jump Ship in 1998 and move to America.. perhaps we’ll never know. I think they were just running.. running away from shit. Instead of confronting it. Russia was nice. I had a girlfriend in Russia… when I was.. 10.

Well. they’re employable. I’m not.. apparently. I just write shit on the internet. I donate plasma and get 50 bucks for drink. Hey, that’s not bad pay for not doing shit for an hour. I still try to get some runs in. Still running. Marathons.

Oh, wait. yes. I fell in love. I did fall in love once. and that’s what I get.. from the object of my affection. Shit, I still can’t believe it.. maybe it’s just a California thing? no.. No I think this still makes sense to some people.. here… in Michigan. Just read.

So. by the time you’re 27 you’re up to 4 boyfriends that you cheated on.. and I still didn’t get that pussy. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh. Oh Lord.. what do you want me to do? or say…

What? What do you say to something like that? Except maybe drink yourself to death.. hehehe.

What? No. no no no no no. You’re not gonna make me do shit. People. you see.. PEOPLE used to do things for a reason. The reason usually was you’re trying to start a family.. or something. right? How do you do that.. these days? In this environment… I respect your honesty.. but JESUS.. YOU know. JESUS. what do you say to something like that?

God.. Is there ANYTHING left for me to do.. on this earth.. today..? You just sit back.. Enjoy the show.. I guess?

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babies, communication, love, money, relationships, school, society, value

Yes… I actually like older women.

Posted on by Dmitry

at that point. they actually start making sense.

I am not cynical. I am just old. I know what is going to happen next

Fay weldon

and I like Ellen Fein…. who was the inspiration for starting this blog…. if you scroll far enough.

Just click Blog roll… and scroll. you’ll find it.

and there’s Kathleen parker… of course… and Heather Mac Donald…. what is it that she said… in her book. Let me find it. yep. here it is —

The new order is emerging as a bizarre hybrid of liberationist and traditionalist values. It carefully preserves the prerogative of no-strings-attached sex while cabining it with legalistic caveats that allow females to revert at will to a stance of offended virtue…

Heather…

so, of course. what I said… is Hold on a minute. hold. on. see, I was paying attention. and My SAT score is… pretty high… and you just said you FUCKED GUYS YOU JUST MET… a few times… and now you don’t want to give me that pussy???

well that’s fucked up. I dont know why we’re still talking… really. go on. go on and have fun….

…

and for me… well there was Amy… like 8 years ago. Jesus. Amy was really good in bed. she was Super. and now I dont really know what she’s doing. Is that enough for me? Just good in bed. and she gave me food… like she did for her cats…. hehehehehe…

do I want Kids? I don’t know. Like I said. I think the right thing is for me to back to Russia. But. No one is cooperating.

why?

oh… Jesus. really. I just want to live by the Mississippi in the south. somewhere near new orleans. that’s really all I want… like that guy in True Detective… I guess.

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babies, communication, life, love, money, news, relationships, religion, school, society, value, work

the Beginning.

Posted on by Dmitry

I have to constantly remind myself that I play the game on a different level.

if some dumb bitch does not know for sure that she wants to make my babies

then I really don’t give a shit.

that’s one of the most valuable lessons I took from Russia. I had a girlfriend. I really did. She said my Mom was to be her Mother in law.

and I won’t forget. I’ll never forget that this is what Russia had for me. And America got me nothing. just a bunch of Random, BULLSHIT work. Fuck you. And Booze. I won’t complain about the booze, I guess. I love booze.

Who won the cold war. who knows. maybe no one. The ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS textbook says victors only Seem to win. it also says Visual proof is pretty weak proof… of anything.

But the world will always crave Beauty, will it not?

Birth control? Well I don’t know. I can’t say it is bad altogether.

But… but I am perfectly happy to see Russia aligning with the more traditional cultures… China… South America… maybe India, where they do seem to acknowledge the idea that something happens to a Man’s motivation when he finds out his beautiful 25 year old bride has actually had something like 20 to 30 other men’s Cocks already inside her.

Hmmm. Ya, I’m gonna say something’s wrong with that. Something just doesn’t feel right…

I won’t hide it. I suppose this is my little dating advertisement. It’s right here.

I’m 6’2 / 160 pounds maybe… I don’t eat much.

I run a 3 hour marathon.

Great education (Ross school of business)

I speak 2.5 languages.

So, I don’t know what else you ladies could possibly want. I tried getting a job First before. I tried that already. That didn’t work out. It did not work out for some reason. I can be a lying piece of shit at the US Labor department. I cant do this. It doesn’t take long for them to just give me some bullshit job where I cant be a lying piece of shit, who doesn’t know what is going on around him. that’s basically what they look for, I think. From my experience.

Jurgen Habermas… for some reason I really love this lecture –

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babies, books, communication, life, news, relationships, school, society, war, work

London.

Posted on by Dmitry

Of course, I would never go against England because I was Basically raised on James Bond and the Hobbit. even in Russia. Why? Im not sure why….

And thats why this whole UK / Ukraine / Russia war seems unbelievable to me…

and I spent the last 10 years playing Runescape.

I think my great challenge in life has been to understand this Spiritual awakening thing some people like Eckhart Tolle talk about

Yes, I think it is real. and I think I had something like it. and I think it takes a lot of pain.

Love? yes. I love many people. Some of them are men and some of them are women

Bisexual? I would rather not put people into categories… like that.

I like to fuck girls, and talk to men…. how about that?

Alan Turing. Well. You know I keep hearing different versions of that story.

I believe the idea Today is more about who gets to make the babies… more than how to kill them, do you understand?

There are Elves out there who keep changing history. Really. they’re out there.

Sometimes they talk about “chemical castration” and sometimes… its suicide or something else.

I suspect what really happened is he got put into witness protection somewhere… and some BS got made up about what really happened. And maybe we did get to turn the war around because of him at Stalingrad.

Who the fuck really knows anymore. Right?

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2084970/

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advice, business, life, money, society, value, work

Black Americans…

Posted on by Dmitry

Sometimes I feel I must comment on this… Subject.

Honestly, I do feel lots of empathy for Black people here

I was also dragged here (America) against my will.

mostly because of Idiotic parents, but also facilitated by the US state dept. Lottery, eh? Nice.

and they all said this was a GOOD THING.

no.

Stop it. Stop dragging people here. This is not a good idea.

It’s time to stop.

Anyway. Now that we’re here.

You eventually begin to wonder how Money really works.

Some people are good at making money. Sure

But… sometimes… there are times.

The Government. decides to pull money out their ass

to protect the assets… investments… accounts of certain people… or Entitities.

They just pull money out their ass.

but. But then they turn around. and they tell you ya still gotta earn that Honest buck!

Earn the Honest buck!! in that same currency… they just pulled out their ass.

Ya gotta tell them to fuck off.

Fuck off. I didn’t even get any pussy in college.

Well. that’s what I say, Anyway. You say whatever you want.

But in that general direction.

Two Economists I follow are Chris Martenson and Aaron Clarey. They have Utubs…

Good luck.

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