communication, love, relationships, school, solitude, work, writing

Laundry room.

Ambition has always been a word that made me nauseous.

I remember being little… I remember being 8 or 9 years old. Remember taking the public bus downtown with the parents for ice cream on summer weekends. That’s when I saw those guys. You know, those fellas you see hanging out at bus stops.. Mostly older guys. Probably have some social security coming in. You know, they hang out, smoke cigarettes and stuff. Maybe do a little boozing. Tell jokes, do crosswords, throw little bottle caps at each other. For some reason they seemed to have the best life. It looked like freedom. And I felt envy.

Growing up, dad tried to get me into that computer stuff. Tried to get me excited about things. I mostly played Age of Empires and Starcraft and stuff. I eventually figured out how to get a website going. Took some tennis lessons, too. Made the team a couple times. I definitely wasn’t going pro. I never really cared for it. I never wanted to be the guy with a number on my back. Scoring points. in some.. some senseless Sportsball competition. I just wanted to have what those other guys had. You know, the guys at the bus stop.

Went to college. Mostly a blur. you know how it is. Never really got a stellar job evaluation either.

I finally got to about 40. And here it is. Here’s the life. I remember it clearly. Happened not too long ago. I remember walking by a bus stop in the neighborhood. And I remembered, this here was actually what I always wanted. Dad was disappointed I’m sure, but he left some money anyway. What else is he gonna do? Can’t recall what he died of exactly. So, at this point in my life, I had a few years to think things over. Evaluate. I think I might have a kid somewhere. Maybe not. I did get to see a lot of the country while I worked full time. People… women got tired of my cynicism rather quickly. I guess my bosses did, too.

So I started seeing this new girl around town early last summer. Must be 25 or something.

One afternoon I was playing with the phone by the bus stop. She drops her wallet… right there. Right in front of me. Doesn’t seem to notice. Hey lady, I yell. Ah, she does have those ear buds on, too. LADY! I wasn’t gonna chase her down. And she hears that one.

Walks over. Gives me a look. You know the look. She’s saying something, but just doesn’t want to say it. You know.

I let it go. I’ve seen enough BS with women.

A week goes by, maybe two. We cross paths again as she was out jogging one morning. Asks directions somewhere. And she’s acting all confused and frustrated like she doesn’t know how to get to the goddamn mall or whatever, and the world might end if she doesn’t get a stupid t-shirt. Alright, maybe you really are new here. She turned back just for a moment before moving on. There it was again. That warm, inviting glance. I was pretty tuned up, as they say, that day, but somehow it still didn’t seem appropriate. I should have said something. I could have offered to walk with her. Fucking mall. There’s nothing to do at the mall.. the beer is too expensive. And yet I knew I’d get another chance. It was destiny.

I go get a haircut. Ma says I look real pretty. Ma always says I should go take classes… maybe meet a lady at the CC here. Next time… next time I’m definitely going to ask her out. I gotta say something. I gotta ask her to a cup of coffee or suggest a movie or something. All these thoughts start pouring into my mind. Maybe I should get a little job. I don’t know why, but people all want to ask what kind of work you do rather quickly. Maybe learn bartending. I could tend bar. On the really slow afternoons, maybe. I have to say something. I have to say something to make her believe that I’m productive and enthusiastic, and excited about life.

Next time… next time I run into her, we’ll definitely try movies. Could this possibly be my last chance at redemption? I cannot stop thinking about those perfect, lovely, young ankles. And that look.

A month goes by. Fall was just around the corner and I was beginning to lose hope. Why, GOD, would you do this to me? She must be around here somewhere. But Where?

We have a cute little laundromat by the coffee shop here in the neighborhood. Lots of people go there instead of using the shitty, prehistoric machines in their apartment basements. Much like the bus stop, the older men and women of leisure like to shoot the shit. Talk sports, do crosswords.

And here she is at last. I take my shot…

“I’ve been noticing you… Noticing that you walk around a lot… here… maybe we could get ice cream some time while the weather’s decent?”

“Oh yeah, yeah. You look familiar.. nice to meet you.. but you know, I’m moving to Ohio in a few days to start working on my Master’s. And my wedding’s coming up next spring, so you’re probably not going to get much fun hanging out with me just this week.”

I had not prepared myself for this jolt of inevitable reality. I really thought this was going to be MY angel from heaven. Mine. I suppose, looking back, that also could have been a mixed message. It wasn’t a rejection exactly, was it? I must be slow or autistic. I took an unreasonably long time to generate my next two sentences.

“So pretty serious, huh? With the boyfriend?”

“Yes, I just said we’re engaged…”

In my head, I was screaming that I Love her. But instinct made me say Good-bye. And leave.

I went back to my Safe place, of course. My old bus stop. Lead us not into temptation, Lord…

babies, love, relationships, travel, writing

Two Strangers Meet – Not a funny story.

much wisdom is much grief, and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow // Ecc.
IN OTHER WORDS – I miss the way I viewed the world before I knew too much about it.. (Origin unknown?)



I pray. Mostly I pray for life to end a little faster. And it seems I got my wish. Three months, maybe.. says the oncologist.

I’m not depressed. Just a little apathetic most days. I’m not afraid of people either.. I just think I know them all too well. Maybe.. maybe this is just some kind of twisted arrogance.. but people really bore me. I really do miss my younger self. A man with dreams, and goals and Ideas. Now, all I really have is a giant Why… Why do women cheat? Why don’t they pay me more money? Why is the sky so blue, goddamn it?

I’ll take any reason to get down to New Orleans. Or no reason at all. In all of America, I think it’s the only place that really calls to me. This time, the first thing I thought of was going to see Paul Morphy’s grave, the eccentric chess master. I was never very good myself, but I guess I can always school a true beginner.

One of the reasons people actually go to NOLA is the cemeteries. People get the most beautiful graves down there, or at least they used to. Giant, ornate Mausoleums. You can’t even get into some of the cemeteries without a Tour these days. I think Morphy rests right off of Basin street, not too far from the Quarter.

The tour ends. I start down St Peter’s and choose a bar I haven’t been to yet.

“Hey, didn’t I just see you on the tour?” I’d say she looks around 30.

“Yes you did! Now we just have to figure out which one of us is the stalker.” I reply.. awkwardly

“What are you writing over there anyway?” so she does want to chat

“Bucket list. They say I don’t have long.”

“You dont looks sick…”

“Well don’t judge a book by its cover. The ol’ Doc did say Terminal at some point.. if I remember correctly. But that’s okay. You dont have to believe me. I don’t believe anything anymore either.”

The lady leaves. I stay a little longer.

I walk over to the St Charles line, and guess who gets on just past Harmony Circle. This must be fate. Or something.

“Are you sure you’re not following me? You look kind of lost, why are you alone at this time of night anyway?”

“Had a fight with the boyfriend. Back in Chicago. I thought I’d come out here and sleep with a Jazz musician. But the stupid phone keeps giving me weird directions, so I keep running into you. So that’s what’s on MY bucket list, if you were wondering. You don’t play music, do ya?”

“Nope. I’m looking to find an oyster place though. I had my Po-boys, I had a few daiquiris.. but I haven’t had a New Orleans Oyster yet. We’ll find a music place tomorrow if you’re not in a hurry.”

“Uh, yeah, I’ll tag along, I guess”

Find a place. Get a table.

“So your Chicago fellow, he didn’t cheat on you did he? Why do you have this urge to retaliate so harshly?”

“No. Didn’t cheat. And I bet he couldn’t if he tried. I don’t know really. I think it’s not going anywhere. Our Thing.”

“Where do you want “the thing” to go? What’s on your mind? Baby rabies?”

“Don’t say that again. that’s insulting…”

“Baby Rabies? What are you really looking for? How long does it usually take you to get bored with a person? Why do you think it is ever going to change?”

“Alright I’m leaving, I have to get some sleep.”

“God bless, don’t get lost” I say. “You mind if I finish your oysters?”

The next morning I see her again… destroying a handful of Beignets around Jackson Square by the river. This is really something.

“No luck finding that handsome musician?”

“Not yet.. when are you going back anyway? Where did you say you’re from?”

“Oh, I don’t think I am. Always thought I would die in New Orleans. It’s on the bucket list.”

“Yeah, that sounds romantic.”

“You know this is never going to end while you’re in town. Why don’t you give me a kiss? You might be my very last kiss. I’d say that’s romantic.”

“I don’t like your mustache.”

I scanned her face for a hint of humor. I guess she was still upset about our exchange at the restaurant.

I thought I saw her catch the airport bus by the library a couple days later. If there is a heaven on earth, I still think it’s New Orleans. And if there is a God, I suspect he’ll only ask if I tried enough. I think I tried plenty. I tried to drink. I sure made my contribution. To learn. To ask important questions. I think I tried to love. It just feels so fake to me when I do it. Why?

…END…

books, love, money, relationships, solitude, work

The Free Time Tester… a cautionary Tale.

After all, the best part of a holiday is perhaps not so much to be resting yourself, as to see all the other fellows busy working – Kenneth Grahame


My worst fear came true. I became a food service manager after college. Fast food. I remember thinking about this years ago. Thinking about all of these hundreds of thousands of people all over America. Wondering how they do it. How the fuck do they do it?

And then I became one.

How did I end up here? Well. I suppose I had more drinking nights than book nights in college, and I ended up with a heartbreaking 2.93 GPA. If I had gotten a 2.95, I could just put a 3 on my resume, and get some decent interviews, maybe. But.. this.. this 2.93 meant options were limited. I thought about going for a real estate license, but I’ve already met too many annoying broads in that field. I’m dumb because I’m a drunk. They’re just dumb by default, you know? You know what I’m saying? Food service actually seemed like the lesser evil.

About a year out of college, a more intriguing opportunity came my way via an old roommate. He was at one of the AI companies, and said they were looking to hire FREE TIME testers. They figured pretty soon jobs were really going to disappear rather fast, and the government gave them a grant to study how normal people might respond to all the leisure.

It was a quick phone interview with a Mr. Morgan.

I first asked why they don’t just hire Homeless people.

“They’re just different,” he said.

Then, I had to point out that it’s not a great experiment because if everyone really does become unemployed in the future, this lifestyle would become a social norm, not an aberration. He said that’s really clever, but he still had to hire 5 guys in this town.

Was I in or out?

So what’s the deal? The study lasts for 60 days. I’d get 50 bucks a day, paid weekly. I’m supposed to avoid any activity I would consider work. I’m supposed to ask 3 local strangers out on dates, and report how that goes. Report any police contact, also.

As expected, the first week was a very welcome holiday. Basically, I’d get drunk and go to the movies.

How about some exercise? Sure, I can do some jogging. What bliss.

3 weeks in, the company called to remind me that I had to look for a date. And it should be someone I haven’t met yet.

Could be tricky.

I remembered that the library had social events and book readings every other week or so. Here we go. A friendly little thing, it seems. The name’s Sally.

Sally was some kind of social worker. I told her about my little adventure and she gave me a frown.

I said I actually tried to get out of it at the interview, but I also really needed a change. How about Sushi?

Sushi it is.

“So what do you Actually want to do?”

Oh. You mean like.. professionally? For the rest of my life?

“Sure… something like that” says Sally.

I remembered that I always fucking hated these conversations. Am I going to impress her with a lofty goal? Should I err on the side of humility maybe? Let’s try to come up with something honest, and see if that works.

“I guess I wanted to be a lawyer and a judge,” I say. “But the only class I failed in college was Logic. So now.., now I am just lost and confused.”

There’s more to life than logic! You’re young. I’m sure you’ll find something satisfying. You got a favorite book?

Sure, I like Camus. I keep wondering if his “accident” was actually a suicide. He seemed like the type, right?

“As I recall, he wasn’t driving”

Well, I guess you know more than I do. I wasn’t there. Believe half that you see, and nothing you read, right?

“Yeah, I think I heard that one somewhere…”

“Well.. how’s this going so far? You got other plans tonight, or should we go get a drink somewhere?”

I think I do have plans… let’s maybe chat again in a few, okay?

No problem…

So that was Sally. I went to the bar anyway and tried to flirt with the bartender. Maybe I can count that too.

So, the first month went by. It was rather uneventful. I began to feel a little empty, and I began to dread going back to work. Fucking food service. How the hell did I end up here? I don’t think these jobs are going anywhere. People always need to go somewhere where someone’s nice to them. Someone that’s not a goddamn robot. I think that’s what I’ll tell Morgan at the debrief.

I want to grow. I want to have a sense of accomplishment. But how is that going to work? If the same fat fucks are always hungry the next day. On Day 57 I got arrested for peeing in an alley behind a bar. Well, whaddya know… I guess idle hands are the devil’s workshop.

books, life, love, relationships, school, solitude, take it easy, work, writing

basic pleasure model

Dedicated to one or two women who maybe liked me.. years ago. and inimitable… Philip K. Dick.

For those of you who skipped their women’s studies classes, first-wave feminism got women the vote; second-wave got them employed and divorced; third-wave is busy making them porn stars. More or less – Kathleen Parker

Someone once told me that I was good enough looking, that if I were just nice to girls, I could probably get laid pretty often. I don’t think I ever actually tried doing it that way.

These are the phases that you go through, I suppose. You’re young. You’re surrounded by people. You’re anxious. and Annoyed. You drink. You’re alone. You’re afraid of dying alone. I think eventually you figure out… alone might be kind of nice. Because you’re so goddamn tired of being nice to people. Would anyone ever really love the real you? Doubtful… Someone wise once said.. what you really want doesn’t actually exist in reality. Now you go and think about that one…

Lucky for me, I was the only one at that fucked up party who actually figured out her costume – Pris. And you don’t dress like that.. unless you want some. Am I right or am I Right?

She wasn’t perfect.. but you know what, she was pretty close. The only question now is, could I actually leave behind this fucking self-pity I had become so addicted to. Senior year. I think I really was doing these calculations somewhere in the back of my mind. Just imagine. If I don’t get laid THIS year.. then shit. I could actually keep feeling sorry for myself FOREVER. I mean look, I didn’t even get any pussy in college. What are they going to say to that? This is America, and there ain’t a worse punishment imaginable.. Look at him. He didn’t even get any pussy in college. Right?

So what’s the plan going to be here? We close. We start talking about our parents.. and the future perhaps… I hope that when I actually have to see these other parents, they’ll hate me enough that I don’t have to feel too bad about the inevitable breakup. Ideally, I can get enough sex out of this and be done with her by Christmas.

So you live in this house? (She jolts me out of the daydream)

Uh.. no, Jerry does. Let me talk to a couple people first, then we’ll get going.

I never said I’m going home with you! I was just wondering. I think the girls and I have other plans.

Whatever. Give her space.

A few drinks later she does wander over to the couch, and again starts chatting.

So you said you don’t live far, is that right?

I like your type, I say…

Which is?

You’re the type who’ll have a lot of regrettable sex because you’re afraid you can’t get the guy you really want to be with.

It took a few seconds for her to start laughing.

She came back with the usual, I guess that’s what college is for, isn’t it?

You wanna watch Blade Runner with me or no?

We do indeed end up at my place pretty soon that night. I never even have to meet the parents. She found some other inebriate between Thanksgiving and Christmas. I guess it’d be worse if she were perfect.

babies, books, creativity, love, relationships, school, writing

Good in small doses… and other stories, perhaps?

So I am thinking of applying to an exclusive fiction writing program in the fall. I’ve got a few half-baked stories and Essays out there… I do read a lot of crap too, and I think my crap is basically as good as anyone’s crap. Over the past few days I was working on this one story. My rule for short fiction is.. Write it.. then give it a week. if it still makes you laugh, it’s not bad. That’s my theory. I hope I can come up with something else that’s new this summer.. but don’t get your hopes up. This theme of a depressed man reconnecting with a long lost child has been used before, I am sure, but I hope I’m giving it a good twist of my own… – Dmitry Dyatlov, 2025.

Waiting in the therapist’s office, I had some time to reflect on what went on this spring… in Ohio.

I almost became a father. Of course, the best time to find out you’re a father is just before you kill yourself.

I believe that you’ve got to have some kind of moral compass or, rather, a guiding philosophy in life. Mine has always been, everything is good in Small doses. I’m a pharmacist. At least, I used to be. I guess that’s where it comes from. I moved up to Atlanta after I got my degree.

Holly got my current number from a mutual college friend and called at the strangest moment. I was preparing to mix a nice little cocktail of pharmaceuticals to permanently relieve me of the pain of.. Life. And out of nowhere.. Holly.

I guess you could say I got exactly what I always wanted at 34. I got married, and divorced. and I still got to keep the Land Rover. Used. Not too used. Life’s good, isn’t it? However, most days I still felt like I was doing a jail sentence.

Opioids. I was beginning to like them too, and I knew that if at some point, someone at that place ever figured out how to count, well, we would have to have a very uncomfortable conversation. I can’t exactly put my finger on it, but something about the scripts seemed more and more suspicious the last few years. All these drugs, it just can’t be healthy. I didn’t want to annoy the Boss with every little inconsistency.
“Just give ’em the pills, you’re not a doctor.”

That’s right. I don’t make the rules.. I just work here. Anyway, after a few years of this, the pesky conscience did begin to hit the brakes on me. I just had to get out. Possibly, I could come back, but right now, I really had to leave. A family member was in desperate need of help, I said, in Ohio! And so I got my month off. And, by some miracle, I did have to go to Ohio, after all.

I suppose I just lost the sense that I was really helping anyone there, you know?

Getting married was something I always wanted to do and at the time it seemed acceptable. This was years before Holly’s little intervention, remember. She seemed acceptable. The wife. I met a Brazilian nurse who drank a little too much. Honeymoon was fantastic. But, you know how it is. Couple years go by, a few extra pounds. Then there was the time her mom went off medication. She would call us 3 times a day for a month. She’d get locked out, or she really thought that someone was hiding in her closets. Oh, and finally, the cheating. You know what happens when you marry a cute little nurse, don’t you? She’s gonna try to trade you in for a doctor… probably sooner rather than later. C’est la vie. She said… she said she just got bored and it meant nothing. Just move on. And so we did… Move on. Separately.

She just GREW UP, you see? Nothing makes me want to die as much as people telling other adult people to GROW UP. Would you like to see my birth certificate? Or my college diploma? I suppose they have a point. I seem to be the only one who gets stuck in the past, trying to invent a time machine… why can’t I just move along? Why does every little fling have to be so special?

In the 90s, my small Florida college was a bit like… a sexual wine tasting. I didn’t have to worry about money at the time. I ran the mile pretty fast. Solid scholarship. Track was cool, at this school, apparently. The female entourage on weekends was actually impressive. And once in a while they let you fool around with the snatch. Everyone has to tell you their pedigree before copulation. Well I am Polish-Italian, or German-Irish, or just a Jew… I think I met at least 7 different kinds of Asian and I still can’t tell them all apart. Was there a Latina in there somewhere? I believe there was… we didn’t get very far. Catholic… she says. Virgin. I guess I wasn’t sleeping with the girls I really wanted, but at least I was sleeping, with people, once in a while. I suppose I got enough sex to not have to hate women forever. We should all be so lucky.

Speaking of hating women. That’s kind of how Holly and I met. There was this one Sociology class senior year led by a fervent anti-Misogynist named G. Wallace. Typical academic. Some kind of fancy, flamboyant jacket, large glasses, ponytail. A tad more body fat than optimal, I am sure. I remember one day when some fool asked him point blank why women always seem so capricious. Wallace told him the facts… the truth. Look, girls have a short time horizon, and a huge potential investment from sex. You, my friend, can still fuck around till, oh 45 or even 50 maybe and then still get your shit together, find a feeble-minded Doe outside some therapist’s office, and make babies. You see what I’m saying? We were assigned to groups for a project. It was me, Holly, and a far less attractive female specimen. The three of us would get coffee once in a while.

So, a few months back, mid-March, I guess, Holly called and said she wanted to catch up. I said this is great timing, as I had a vacation coming up. What a strange coincidence, huh?

I did go up to Ohio, not too far from Columbus was where she lived. And here it is. Here she is. The female child that’s about to give life meaning. Holly seemed so certain that it was me. That it was Mine. I guess I do remember that night in ’97. Sort of. Classes were done. We had a few days before graduation. After checking out some dives (bars) in that Florida town, we expressed mutual interest. We did exchange numbers, but never really kept in touch. I had Grad school and she had to fulfill some kind of missionary commitment… for her church. They shipped her off to Peru, or Bolivia, or one of these places.

“May I ask why you thought this would be such a great time for us to get acquainted?”

And she says her parents died. A week apart. Around Christmas.

“and what exactly does she know about me?”

That you were deported.

Alright, fair enough. I guess I’d buy that, if I were 12. Would I stoop so low as to order the customary DNA test? You know, at some point I probably will. But we’ll see how this goes first. There’s no rush. Why not at least entertain the idea? The eyes… Yes, they could be my eyes. Very pretty.

Their suburban place was big and everyone felt it was appropriate for me to stay with the newfound family. Mary, Holly, and I. After a couple days I decided to start dispensing fatherly advice.

“So what is going on with you, kid?”

Lots of people said that Michael likes me, but when I gave him a “Valentine” last month he told me to jump off a cliff.

Well, I suppose that happens sometimes. People actually love feeling sorry for themselves, you know? They call it a Secondary payoff, I think. You don’t get what you really want, but it’s almost like… like a Silver medal, I guess. You get to Sulk all day, and there’s no fear of loss. Imagine… just imagine having absolutely nothing to complain about. We would die of boredom. Maybe his ‘loving’ parents have horrible fights. So that’s what he’s been associating with attraction. Who knows what’s really going on with this Mike kid. Let me tell you this. Give it a year, and if you still like the kid, give him a Psychology book next year. Something by BERNE, Eric. I think he might appreciate it.

Later that week, I found one of those Bumper car places in Columbus… it’s the stupidest thing in the world, but I always wanted to take my kids to a Bumper car attraction. And then Ice cream.

So the pharmacy job was still an option, and I could put in for a transfer to Ohio, I guess. I still had a few days to make up my mind about what to tell these people.

Toward the end of April, Holly said we had to meet another friend.

Holly and I went to a diner nearby. Well, what a surprise. It’s the old Professor. G. Wallace. Explanation? After getting sober, this sneaky asshole also got a divorce… then got hired by Ohio State after Florida. Said he had to track down an old flame for an AMENDS, you see? Of course, he and I were quite surprised to see each other.

Yes, it’s certainly not Okay to sleep with students. It says so in every university manual, I am sure. But this complicates our situation now, doesn’t it? What exactly was the timeline of Holly’s shameful liaisons?

One might ask why Holly didn’t do the test herself. The DNA test. And I suppose, the only plausible explanation is she believed her own Bullshit. She repressed the particulars of those last few stressful weeks of college, maybe drank a little too much. I suppose I must have made a better impression. Who really wants to remember screwing some Icky 45-year old professor, with a ponytail? She said they ran into each other at some kind of concert.

Soon enough, we had the final verdict. I am Not the daddy, after all.

It was all very nice, and now it’s kind of nice that it’s all over. Mary is still the child of someone that I maybe used to love, and I suppose that’s good enough. We can all be Friends, I guess. I gave her some money and a birthday card with that John Lennon quote – If you can’t be happy, then you don’t know anything about life… something like that. I told her to start jogging and think more about Jesus.

The aging academic said he’ll gladly take over relevant duties. And I said I prefer the South anyway.

What else can I say about kids? I just know that if I say too much, they will blame me for everything.

And remember, everything is good in small doses. Especially family.

books, life, love, relationships, solitude, writing

IF THERE WAS A TEST, I MUST HAVE FAILED IT.

If there’s delight in love, ‘Tis when I see that heart, which others bleed for, bleed for me – William Congreve

I took a certain pride in knowing I’d helped ruin his life enough to give him something substantial to write about – Mick Jagger

I started thinking.. the other day about whether or not I actually broke any hearts, really? If I can find like 3, then maybe I’d be happy. hehehe. Pretty fucked up, isn’t it? Is this a diagnosable condition?? Did anyone actually Want to go to prom, with me? Or.. or maybe that Megan girl I roomed with for a few weeks in Chicago. I think maybe Megan liked me. maybe not. She looked pretty frail.. but I do hope she’s alive.. somewhere..

Maybe it was just the one girl.. in Russia.. who wanted to marry me when we were 10 or 11.

I keep discovering writers who killed themselves in their 40s.. or drank themselves to death, which is arguably the same thing.. so.. even THAT is not original. You begin to wonder.. around this time, I suppose.. will there ever be a second act? Another chapter in this crazy life. they had that plane and black hawk crash at Reagan the other day. No survivors. It’s not always so dramatic.. but it begins to dawn on you that.. this.. All this will soon be over, and maybe you won’t even see it coming. And if you see it coming.. yeah, I suppose I’d rather see it coming. There must be.. a date.. in the Akashic field (Ervin Laszlo, Edgar Cayce) or whatever the hell that is. Look it up. it’s interesting stuff.. this Akashic business.

I think it’s another common theme in Alcoholics anonymous. IF YOU LIKE ME, THEN I’LL DESPISE YOU.. right? Pretty fucked, I guess. I think I heard something like that before..

I think there’s another game called Stump your Therapist. I’m pretty good at this game. That’s where I came up with – MY QUALITY OF LIFE DOESN’T JUSTIFY THE EFFORT REQUIRED TO COPE WITH IT.

Pretty good, eh? Or.. my Higher power doesn’t want me to get a shitty job in addition to being a miracle.

Or, Why don’t you make me Care about Life again? It’s your job, not mine. You’re the EXPERT.

So, anyway, Still looking for a prestigious publisher for my Autobiography. I think we’ll call it – IF THERE WAS A TEST, I MUST HAVE FAILED IT.

another one is – IF YOUR LIFE IS A LIVING HELL, THEN WHY DO YOU WANT MORE OF IT??

You know.. good things do happen, sometimes. I really did find a backpack with $52 dollars around this time last year. That was nice. But I still didn’t get the stimulus. what do I really want? I think I just want to drive one of those streetcars in New Orleans. that’s what I want.

this.. I think this is called “Secondary gain” in the business –

Victimhood
books, creativity, language, medicine, relationships, solitude, take it easy, work

the Law of Conservation of Energy

Law of Conservation of Energy.

All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream. Edgar Allan Poe.

No, we’re not going to talk too much about Physics. maybe toward the end there.

Maybe I’m a weak writer. But I like to think that I am stingy with writing because women were always stingy with sex. Well, except that one time.

What I had in mind was writing a tale about a fellow who progressively does less.. and less, and less.. until he turns into.. some kind of plant. Some oak trees live for centuries. Did I get that from somewhere? Someone? I don’t know.. Probably. Let me know if it sounds familiar. nothing comes to mind right now.

What is it now.. almost 40. Well. Like I said before.. I’ve outlived J.K. Toole.. and that guy who wrote Leaving Las Vegas. O’Brien. I still like to see a doctor once a year. He usually says something about my liver enzymes. The only real question I have is if I’ll live long enough to get Social security. Free money, at last.

Almost daily I am horrified by things my parents say. Horrified. But, they’re the employable ones in this household. Explain that to me. It is only by confusing and distracting these “normal” people do we get to avoid Apocalypse. They never get enough time to put their foolishness into action. I do. they always have some fucking appointment.. or bill to pay.. some equally insane relatives to talk to.

I do not bother my head about these things…

I watch people run around as if they have cancer (terminal), but to me it seems like they really just forgot to water their plants. Once. Why do you need so many plants?

So, you see, for all practical purposes, I have cracked immortality. I have something like 8500 days left until retirement. What.. what haven’t I done. Always wanted a boat, I guess. But the nice ones are expensive. Would I like to travel somewhere? No. I don’t…

A few weeks ago I figured out I can pee and brush my teeth simultaneously. I used to not brush my teeth at all for weeks.. sometimes. but now, I realized I do have a free hand for most of the time that I am peeing. So I can be slightly more presentable. Remember that? We always get what we need. But not always what we want. Peeing, in the bathroom is a pretty hard requirement. Everything else is kind of a wish-list item. I don’t really see what I get out of it.

What. what are we Really here for? I watched one of the movies about Yogananda recently. As the prospective disciple bows, the great Guru asks if he struggles with Sex, Wine or Money.

No, sir. Not a problem at all. if there’s money, I usually buy Sex. And wine. Hehe. He didn’t say that. I did.

No, I suppose I’m not monk material. But I always had some suspicion that there must be some logic behind all the insanity I see. In the mind of God, at some quantum level, if you go far enough back.. or deep into the cells and atoms, maybe I’ll figure something out and things will make sense. Maybe I’ve got to help the person I screwed over 7 lifetimes ago. and THEN I would feel complete and satisfied. But where is this person? I need a sign.

Time to go see the Doctor, I guess.

imdb.com/title/tt3197802/

books, life, love, money, relationships, society, take it easy, work

deaths of despair.

Rarely do great beauty and great virtue dwell together – Petrarch

By definition, you have to live until you die. Better to make that life as complete and enjoyable an experience as possible, in case death is shite, which I suspect it will be – Irvine Welsh

no, not depressed today. Actually, I am probably a little Manic. thats why.. that’s why I’m in a writing Mood I guess. But.. couple days ago I was watching a little talk by Niall Ferguson on the subject. We’ll come back to that…

You know one thing I really am grateful for.. is my Memory. Some people say that’s why Hemingway Off’ed himself. He saw he lost the magic. Electroshock fucked something up. Once in a while, I think I still have THE MAGIC. uh… I’ll come back to that also.. Maybe today. Maybe Not.

Four years ago I posted on Facebook, hey look, I made it to 33 and I am still alive. I Outlived Jesus of Nazareth. And Now I got 4 more years. Nothing much has changed.. but.. hey, I guess most people think it’s better to be alive than the alternative.

I did. I did try to contact “Poverty Solutions.” Because in AA they tell me to ASK FOR HELP. So I did. I found the Appropriate resource, and I Asked for Help. Yep.

For some reason these idiots referred me to the Police department, Again. And I want THE WORLD to see this. I want Someone to explain to me WHAT THE FUCK is going on. WHY are these scumbags avoiding responsibility? Why do you believe that a 36 year old male with 39 cents in his bank account, Living with Mom Does NOT qualify for your help. You’re the University of Michigan. You say you’re Solving poverty. I want you to Grow the HELL up and DO what you say you’re qualified to be doing. Just Grow up!

This isn’t funny anymore. I am really not making a joke here. Someone has to GROW THE HELL UP.

This morning in the shower what I really wanted to write about was.. sex or Self pity. Which would you rather have? Of course you need to have had both to make an Informed decision. And you know what. you know what.. I think I’m leaning toward Self-pity. What is it now? 28 years left. till I get that Social security check. If they don’t solve my poverty Sooner. Fine. you know what. FUCKING FINE! I can wait 28 years. I keep getting better at waiting. I’ll ride this horse all the way to Retirement!

It’s not like I haven’t tried other things. I got this guy’s book. D. D. Burns. And I can’t get through the fucking chapter on Motivation. He’s supposed to be as good as they come. Fucking Amherst, UPenn, Stanford. Holy shit. I even said I’ll work for him. he needed a test driver for his Ai therapist I think, but I assume the position has been filled. Oh well.

My real therapist, currently, sometimes talks about REALITY. Reality? You know what that makes me think of? That makes me think of Freight trains. That’s as real as it gets, buddy. If you don’t get out the way of That thing, game over. Reality. Fucking asshole. No. I’m really not depressed today. this is not a “Gesture”

I just want him to get a little more specific, that’s all. If by reality you mean you want me to get a shit job, for shit money, and do all this while I’m SOBER, Well you can go Fuck yourself. Reality. THAT is why I think of Freight trains.

Yeah, I used to think girls were real special. Like most young men.. I thought.. I thought if one day I would actually make love to a really beautiful woman, things would change.. dramatically. Something Fantastic, and Magical would happen. Have I done it yet? Heh, I’m not sure. I guess eventually I made up in quantity.

You have to define success and be happy when you get it!

That’s it. That’s my little therapy tip. Original? I think so.

You know if I did have.. a Magic wand.. a time machine, I wouldn’t even go back to 2009. Because if I could have a do-over with Roxi.. well.. well then I wouldn’t have Any Self-pity!! Why would I give THAT up? HAHAHAHAHA.

But I Would go back to… 2010. Because that’s when I met M. no wait.. maybe it was 2011 already. Anyway. It was that Winter. I believe it was pretty cold. She broke up with BOYFRIEND. She was in town for training, a week? and Oh God She was something. We were, what? 23 and 25 I guess. I thought it was perfect.. MEANT to be. mm.. I know her name.. I know where she went to school.. but you know what.. she met my friend.. Rafferty. They seemed to get along.. Rafferty is dead by the way.. I am pretty sure. Suicide probably. For other reasons. Anyway. I was jealous.. of course.. and I believe the Bro Code says, I SAW IT FIRST, so its supposed to be mine. I went back.. grabbed my bag from her hotel room that I strategically placed earlier (sneaky), and I just had to leave. I think we started off well, but my drunken self was eventually creeping her out. She said maybe tomorrow.. hehe. No. I stayed away from the Crowne Plaza that week. Maybe she found Raff again. Who knows. I am sure if I DID have a time machine.. I could make that night work, eventually. But.. I don’t know. I don’t seem to meet spectacular women anymore. Maybe it’s because I’m not that hungry. Maybe it’s just impossible.. to make it work. Maybe I’m too addicted to Self pity.. No going back.. no going back they say.

Memory. yes. when we run out of booze, we feed on memories. I think it’s not a bad way to live.

books, communication, language, relationships, take it easy, work

Part III

Wrapping this up, I guess. Also, Something fun for election season!. Part 2 was somewhat popular. 6 likes from people. I was humble enough to include myself in this last list.. heh. Thanks! I want to say I’m at a good stopping point.. but we haven’t reached 360 yet, have we? You know.. these past 10 years, I tried a lot.. and hard to find something else to do.. but.. of all the things.. this isn’t bad, is it? Collecting quotations. See, with enough good ideas.. I get to poke holes in most of the bullshit people try to baffle me with. You want me to get a job? Really? You really want me to be EMPLOYABLE? Well, you know that will cost a lot of money. Life’s short.. and I’m expensive. Because I have self esteem. that’s right. I dont give a fuck about the MARKET. it doesn’t work. the fucking market doesn’t work. I checked all the boxes…… No. I guess not. But I checked enough boxes. heh. Going down to New Orleans last year was great. I logged something like 900 miles running this year. This shit’s getting boring also. I don’t know. I don’t see any Good ideas. but that’s no reason to surrender to… coloring spreadsheets.. or buildings sandcastles.. or some such nonsense. Remember.. every few years.. 40.. 50.. 60.. 70… we all get a little bit dumber. There’s no going back.. hehe.. they say. If I ever make it that far.. well, I’ll always need this arsenal of Wisdom to make a good impression.

  1. We are never so much disposed to quarrel with others as when we are dissatisfied with ourselves. William Hazlitt
  2. When we forgive, the slave we free is ourselves – Edward Hallowell
  3. Men to whom God is dead worship one another – Harry Crews
  4. I can’t believe what you say, because I see what you do. – James Baldwin
  5. I have never voted in my life… I have always known and understood that the idiots are in a majority so it’s certain they will win – Louis-Ferdinand Celine…
  6. If only we could see in advance all the harm that can come from the good we think we are doing. – Pirandello
  7. This cultural Left thinks more about stigma than about money, more about deep and hidden psychosexual motivations than about shallow and evident greed. – Richard Rorty
  8. The essence of immorality is the tendency to make an exception of myself – Jane Addams
  9. The ground for taking ignorance to be restrictive of freedom is that it causes people to make choices which they would not have made if they had seen what the realization of their choices involved. – AJ Ayer
  10. The most pathetic person in the world is some one who has sight but no vision – Hellen Keller
  11. what we call rational grounds for our beliefs are often extremely irrational attempts to justify our instincts – Thomas Henry Huxley
  12. Moral courage is the most valuable and usually the most absent characteristic in men – George Patton
  13. The toughest bullshit to cut through, is one’s own – Joseph Galloway
  14. You can only solve what you have the courage to see – Dylan Ratigan
  15. Certain experiences you can’t survive, and afterward you don’t fully exist, even if you failed to die – Nic Pizzolatto.
  16. I was raised the old-fashioned way, with a stern set of moral principles: Never lie, cheat, steal or knowingly spread a venereal disease – Barbara Ehrenreich
  17. Humanity does not ask us to be happy. It merely asks us to be brilliant on its behalf – Orson Scott Card
  18. Do not mourn the dead. They know what they are doing – Clarice Lispector
  19. You need to find a way to live your life, that it doesn’t make a mockery of your values – Bill Ayers
  20. No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible – Stanislaw Jerzy Lec
  21. The reality isn’t important: what’s important is your belief, and believing the lie is the only way to avoid a waking coma. Civilization now depends on self-deception. Perhaps it always has. Ted Chiang.
  22. There are two spiritual dangers in not owning a farm. One is the danger of supposing that breakfast comes from the grocery, and the other that heat comes from the furnace – Aldo Leopold
  23. I despise the cowardly clinging to life, purely for the sake of life, that seems so deeply ingrained in the American temperament – Christopher Lasch.
  24. Liberty is not the power of doing what we like, but the right of being able to do what we ought. – Lord Acton
  25. the human mind does not run on logic any more than a horse runs on petrol – Rory Sutherland.
  26. It’s discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit Noel Coward
  27. What I’d like is to meet a man I could take off my hat to and say: “Thank you for having got born, and the longer you live the better – Maxim Gorky.
  28. The idea that freedom is merely the ability to act upon one’s whims is surely very thin and hardly begins to capture the complexities of human existence; a man whose appetite is his law strikes us not as liberated but enslaved . Theodore Dalrymple.
  29. If truth is what you seek, then the examined life will only take you on a long ride to the limits of solitude and leave you by the side of the road with your truth and nothing else – Thomas Ligotti
  30. Self pity is easily the most destructive of the non-pharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality – John Gardner
  31. Yes, one can take a handful of crisp one dollar bills and practically water your mouth over it, but this is a kind of person who is confused like a Pavlov dog, who salivates on the wrong bell… – Alan Watts.
  32. One good teacher in a lifetime may sometimes change a delinquent into a solid citizen – Philip Wylie
  33. Logic can be met with logic, while illogic cannot—it confuses those who think straight. The Big Lie and monotonously repeated nonsense have more emotional appeal in a cold war than logic and reason. – Joost Meerloo
  34. Every age has its massive moral blind spots. We might not see them, but our children will. – Bono
  35. Choice implies consciousness – a high degree of consciousness. Without it, you have no choice – Eckhart Tolle
  36. Every society produces its own cultural conceits, a set of lies and delusions about itself that thrive in the face of all contrary evidence – Jack Weatherford
  37. Within groups selfish individuals beat altruistic individuals, but groups of altruists beat groups of selfish individuals. Or, risking oversimplification, individual selection promoted sin, while group selection promoted virtue – EO Wilson.
  38. Most therapy programs do little more than provide psychopaths with new excuses and rationalizations for their behavior and new insights into human vulnerability… – Robert Hare
  39. The takeaway from all these observations is that our species seems, somehow, to derive more benefit from speaking than from listening – Kevin Simler
  40. Law is neither a divine revelation nor a scientific discovery. It is a wholly human creation that includes the contribution of those who claim to study it and who cannot remain blind to the values implied by their interpretations … Alain Supiot
  41. While economics is about how people make choice, sociology is about how they don’t have any choice to make. – Bertrand Russell
  42. Playing a game is the voluntary attempt to overcome unnecessary obstacles – Bernard Suits
  43. The only real struggle in the history of the world… is between the vested interest and social justice – Arnold Toynbee
  44. Intersectionality? I’m not sure but I think I have it. DMITRY DYATLOV.
  45. History repeats itself because man remains at the same level of being—namely, he attracts again and again the same circumstances, feels the same things, says the same things, hopes the same things, believes the same things – Maurice Nicoll
  46. The history of the twentieth century encourages the thought that the easiest way to generate productivity in a modern society is by nourishing the motives of which I spoke earlier, namely, those of greed and fear. But we should never forget that greed and fear are repugnant motives GA COHEN
  47. Brown University’s Student Services helps students answer the compelling question: “How can I bring sex toys into my relationship?” – Heather Mac Donald
  48. We can’t believe what we believe to be untrue, and we can’t love what we believe to be unreal. – Peter Kreeft
  49. the only people who have proof of their sanity are those who have been discharged from mental institutions – Marshall McLuhan
  50. “In general, we’re least aware of what our minds do best.” Marvin Minsky
  51. Have you ever considered the possibility, said Rumfoord, “that everything went absolutely right?” – Kurt Vonnegut
  52. A country cannot subsist well without liberty, nor liberty without virtue – Daniel Webster
  53. Every happening, great and small, is a parable whereby God speaks to us, and the art of life is to get the message – Malcolm Muggeridge
  54. When people give you advice, they’re really just talking to themselves in the past – Austin Kleon
  55. Both tolerance and respect are empty virtues until we actually understand whatever it is we are supposed to be tolerating or respecting – Stephen Prothero.
  56. Asked to resolve problems in a language that is not their own, people are less likely to depart from standard accounts of rationality – Cass Sunstein
  57. Good God, if our civilization were to sober up for a couple of days, it’d die of remorse on the third – Malcolm Lowry
  58. It’s a very funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get – W Somerset Maugham
  59. You can’t make history all the time, Dougie. Sometimes the best you can do is make money – James Ellroy
  60. This finding or inventing of words for incomprehensible things has nothing to do with understanding. On the contrary, if we could get rid of half of our words perhaps we should have a better chance of a certain understanding. – P.D. Ouspensky
  61. As soon as you concern yourself with the “good” and “bad” of your fellows, you create an opening in your heart for maliciousness to enter. – Morihei Ueshiba
  62. Bad things happen when good people pretend nothing is wrong – Corey Taylor
  63. if your Problem is someone else’s behavior, you go to a program for the solution, because the solution might be to do nothing. Whitney Cummings
  64. All I know is this: nobody’s very big in the first place, and it looks to me like everybody spends their whole life tearing everybody else down – Ken Kesey
  65. a little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation – H H Munro
  66. Most of us have jobs that are too small for our spirits. – Studs Terkel
  67. Freedom for the pike is death for the minnows. – R.H. Tawney
  68. The more I think about language, the more it amazes me that people ever understand each other at all – Kurt Gödel

advice, books, democracy, life, news, relationships, simplify, value, writing

PART II.

Well. this is Part 2. So we’re up to.. about 165? another 200 good ones.. will be hard to find. But.. find them we will! Someday… I guess there is a bit of a theme here. A lot of quotes here are mostly about dumping out the Garbage we’ve all been taught. And a little more diversity, I guess.

  1. There are only two or three human stories, and they go on repeating themselves as fiercely as if they had never happened before – Willa Cather
  2. We all have an old knot in the heart we wish to untie – Michael Ondaatje
  3. My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right – Ashleigh Brilliant.
  4. The value of marriage is not that adults produce children, but that children produce adults – Peter De Vries
  5. A person may cause evil to others not only by his actions but by his inaction, and in either case he is justly accountable to them for the injury – John S. Mill
  6. Those who teach, must never cease to learn – John Cotton Dana
  7. When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. I’m beginning to believe it. Clarence Darrow
  8. To find out what one is fitted to do, and to secure an opportunity to do it, is the key to happiness – John Dewey
  9. I guess the only time most people think about injustice is when it happens to them. – Charles Bukowski
  10. Our view of the world is truly shaped by what we decide to hear. – William James
  11. Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does. – William James
  12. Humans seldom have created anything of lasting value unless they were tired or hurting. – Jon Huntsman Sr.
  13. Academia is to knowledge what prostitution is to love; close enough on the surface but, to the non-sucker, not exactly the same thing – Nassim Taleb
  14. The three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates, and a monthly salary – Nassim Taleb
  15. If we’re looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn’t test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power – PJ O’Rourke
  16. The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable – GB Shaw
  17. I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve – Albert Schweitzer
  18. Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so. – Bertrand Russell
  19. What gets us into trouble is not what we don’t know. It’s what we know for sure that just ain’t so. – Mark Twain?
  20. All cruelty springs from weakness – Seneca
  21. The number of those who undergo the fatigue of judging for themselves is very small indeed – Richard Brinsley Sheridan
  22. Maturity requires a final accommodation between our aspirations and our limitations – J William Fulbright
  23. We’re a nation of Adult children of alcoholics. We don’t get mad at the people who are inflicting the pain in this country. We get mad at the people who are pointing it out.- Jimmy Dore.
  24. But my lord, when we addressed this issue a few years ago, didn’t you argue the other side?” He said, “That’s true, but when I get more evidence I sometimes change my mind. What do you do? – John Maynard Keynes
  25. It’s amazing how people can change behind closed doors – Susan Forward
  26. it is the essence of morality to meditate on one’s own wrongdoing, to try to find ways to make up for it and to be resolved not to repeat it – Dan Kovalik
  27. The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think. WALPOLE?
  28. He suddenly understood the message of so many spiritual teachers that the only revolution that can work is the inner transformation of every human being – Stanislav Grof
  29. We accept the reality of the world with which we are presented – Andrew Niccol
  30. Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes – William GIBSON
  31. To say nothing, especially when speaking, is half the art of diplomacy. – Will Durant
  32. If you keep telling the same sad small story, you will keep loving the same sad small life.- Jean Houston
  33. The highest reward for a man’s toil is not what he gets for it but what he becomes by it – John Ruskin
  34. There is never anything to change but our own perspective – Karen Casey
  35. We swallow greedily any lie that flatters us, but we sip only little by little at a truth we find bitter -Denis Diderot
  36. It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything – Chuck Palahniuk
  37. You measure democracy by the freedom it gives its dissidents, not the freedom it gives its assimilated conformists. – Abbie Hoffman
  38. Action isn’t my forte. I’m an expert on contemplation and mild regret. – R. SHECKLEY
  39. All human beings should try to learn before they die what they are running from, and to, and why. – James Thurber
  40. The greatest ownership of all is to glance around and understand. – William Stafford
  41. What we do not understand we have no right to judge – Henri-Frederic Amiel.
  42. Ask yourself this question: ‘Will this matter a year from now? – Richard Carlson
  43. A problem well stated is a problem half solved. – Charles Kettering.
  44. “If the misery of the poor be caused not by the laws of nature, but by our institutions, great is our sin.” – Charles Darwin
  45. The essence of strategy is choosing what not to do. – Michael Porter
  46. “Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate, or despise, serves to defeat us in the end.” – Henry Miller
  47. No one learns as much about a subject as one who is forced to teach it. – Peter Drucker
  48. The young do not know enough to be prudent, and therefore they attempt the impossible — and achieve it, generation after generation. – Pearl Buck
  49. Clear thinking requires courage rather than intelligence. – Thomas Szasz
  50. Boredom is the feeling that everything is a waste of time; serenity, that nothing is. – Thomas Szasz
  51. Back home there was no freedom, but there were readers. Here there was freedom enough, but readers were missing – Sergei Dovlatov
  52. Some people without brains do an awful lot of talking, don’t you think? – Frank Baum
  53. The greatest evil that one has to fight constantly, every minute of the day until one dies, is the worst part of oneself – Patrick McGoohan
  54. In most of our human relationships, we spend much of our time reassuring one another that our costumes of identity are on straight. – Ram Dass
  55. Anxiety, trauma and crisis are necessary catalysts to stimulate self-consciousness. – Rollo Tomassi
  56. Rarely do great beauty and great virtue dwell together. – Petrarch
  57. You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from. – Cormac McCarthy
  58. “Think of denial as an acronym for Don’t Even Notice I Am Lying” – Debbie Ford.
  59. “The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence.” – Charles Bukowski
  60. Don’t give advice, it will come back and bite you in the ass.. – Ellen DeGeneres
  61. although freedom of speech constitutes an important victory in the battle against old restraints, modern man is in a position where much of what “he” thinks and says are the things that everybody else thinks and says; that he has not acquired the ability to think originally – that is, for himself – which alone gives meaning to his claim that nobody can interfere with the expression of his thoughts – Erich Fromm
  62. America’s always been a great place to be crazy. It just used to be harder to make a living that way – Charles P Pierce
  63. A classic is a book that has never finished saying what it has to say – Italo Calvino
  64. Happiness is not easy to find. It’s very difficult to find it in yourself — and impossible to find anywhere else… (Found this attributed to at least 3 different authors.. so let’s just say UNKNOWN)
  65. Natural selection favors the forces of psychological denial – GARRETT HARDIN
  66. When the missionaries came to Africa they had the Bible and we had the land. They said “Let us pray.” We closed our eyes. When we opened them we had the Bible and they had the land. – Desmond Tutu
  67. People want an authority to tell them how to value things, but they choose this authority not based on facts or results – Michael Burry (movie, Big Short)
  68. A man with a conviction is a hard man to change. Tell him you disagree and he turns away. Show him facts or figures and he questions your sources. Appeal to logic and he fails to see your point. -Leon Festinger
  69. Every man dies, not every man truly lives. – Sonny Barger
  70. Sex is like air; it’s not important unless you aren’t getting any. – John Callahan
  71. “He was old and wise, which meant tired and disappointed…” TE Lawrence.
  72. The first duty of a man is to think for himself – Jose Marti
  73. Through money, democracy becomes its own destroyer, after money has destroyed intellect. – Oswald Spengler
  74. An educated person is one who has learned that information almost always turns out to be at best incomplete and very often false, misleading, fictitious, mendacious – just dead wrong. – Russell Baker
  75. Anytime you see a turtle up on top of a fence post, you know he had some help. – Alex Haley.
  76. If people cannot rise to the level of applying to ourselves the same standards we apply to others they have no right to talk about right and wrong. – Noam Chomsky
  77. I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally. – Bill Maher
  78. Ninety-five percent of the beliefs we have stored in our minds are nothing but lies, and we suffer because we believe all these lies – Don Miguel Ruiz
  79. Writing is like getting married. One should never commit oneself until one is amazed at one’s luck – Iris Murdoch
  80. The worst form of inequality is to try to make unequal things equal – Aristotle.
  81. The duty of youth is to challenge corruption. – Kurt Cobain
  82. The more things change, the more they are the same – Alphonse Karr
  83. ….