Category: patience

advice, books, life, patience, work

one more time…….

Posted on by Dmitry

oh I want to talk about running. Just like Haruki.. hehe.

because That’s about all I do.. thats somewhat productive.

this really is a great time to Run in Michigan. Low 60s in the morning.

sometimes there is a little mist. Very peaceful.

If you get your ass out of bed before 9, it’s always refreshing. You won’t regret it.

but you gotta do it. Doing it. getting up. Is getting kind of hard.

I had a little insight the other day, I guess. We often look up people… like Jim Ryun… Gerry Lindgren. and we see how fast they run. ran. what medals they earned. Wow, that’s fast.

And then last night I watched a Jack Daniels video about… about what they did to get there. and no.. that’s not something we think about too much. Look at all the work. the hundreds and thousands of miles they travelled. to get to that.. that one race. that makes them a Champion.. forever.

They always talk about delayed gratification… just wait.. just wait and things will be better.

Maybe. Maybe not.

But in life it’s really not so simple is it. Everyone gets to take a course on the law of delayed consequences, before you get to call yourself Adult… required course for Adulting. The law of delayed consequences. At some point. we get to take that course.

You know for me.. I know I have to work my ass off the next month.. 28.. 27 days. to get in shape. and then maybe I’ll run that Boston qualifying marathon… but that doesn’t happen until.. April 2026. If I get every day right. Enough work. enough Food.. enough rest.. the next 28 days. After that there’s not much to worry about. You just show up. and You do what you’ve been training for. Just do it. hehe.

But.. right now Im Anxious. I gotta get up. and Get those miles in. Every day. I gotta push myself a little harder every day. Then you run that race.

and you get to keep it. forever.

0
advice, life, love, patience, relationships, solitude, take it easy, value, work

Cancer.

Posted on by Dmitry

oh wouldn’t it be nice to have cancer.

Honestly, I can’t think of a better way to go.

It’s nice! PEOPLE FEEL SORRY FOR YOU.

if things arent going well… I am doing something Wrong… they say.

well things have been kinda fucked up. and I really dont know wtf… wtf am I doing. Drinking? okay. yes. Maybe Im still drinking.

But more will be revealed! that’s also true… I guess. more is always revealed.

I discovered a new author. Christopher Lasch. historian. hehe. Cancer. Lucky. Died on Valentine’s day, did he?

You know I read this quote… yesterday. and I honestly don’t know what the hell he means. Maybe I should just get the book and see if he explains it further. Aren’t they both just SELLING something? what exactly is his point? that some things shouldn’t be for sale?? in most… states… heh.

is that what he means? I don’t know.

No, I never really was “Blazing through pussy” as one of my therapists used to say. too hard… fast… although yes I did have a nice year in Philadelphia. Philly was fun. no complaints. the last two uh… Quasi-relationships were with older gals… and I suppose there was a bit of a transfer of wealth in my direction. hehe. they weren’t bad looking, I’d do it for free… heh… but… hey the extra gratitude doesn’t hurt. I guess. I can always use more socks……. and food.

Was that really my objective? no… but how does.. Rollo say it? the “gynocratic social order” ?? is that what it’s about? Girls want what they want… and sometimes they’re even ready and willing to pay? and I really didn’t have much else going on. and all things considered… why not… it’s definitely better than the relationship I’ve been observing between my parents…. as we all know… by now.

Improper documentation of requirements always leads to many sleepless nights and angry people – ACCENTURE.

Good thing I remembered that one… hehe.

No. my only real objective for many years has been to see my father suffer horribly for making my life a living hell.

Strike 1 – Leaving Russia. You dumbass…. Strikes 2 & 3. didn’t fucking leave me ALONE when I actually had things going on… opportunities… in 2005. 2010 also. I could’ve been in a different fucking state and all he had to do was fucking LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE.

Nope. he’s got to keep fucking up my life. But. But THIS IS AMERICA. and that’s definitely 3 strikes, by my count.

and you’re a fucking piece of shit. And you will not be TRUSTED. you will just be observed. very closely. you dumb little piece of shit.

is there another way to look at it? Maybe. But I still think My view is more right than any other.

What else am I doing wrong?

the DECISION MAKERS. heh. they’re somewhere. they can open doors, I am sure. if they want. but. the doors are closed and it’s really not up to me. what the hell you really want? I did have 3 or 4 months of no drinking a couple years ago. AND NOTHING IS HAPPENING. so what the fuck do you really want. I don’t have any more fucking stories. sorry.

0