Law of Conservation of Energy.
All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream. Edgar Allan Poe.
No, we’re not going to talk too much about Physics. maybe toward the end there.
Maybe I’m a weak writer. But I like to think that I am stingy with writing because women were always stingy with sex. Well, except that one time.
What I had in mind was writing a tale about a fellow who progressively does less.. and less, and less.. until he turns into.. some kind of plant. Some oak trees live for centuries. Did I get that from somewhere? Someone? I don’t know.. Probably. Let me know if it sounds familiar. nothing comes to mind right now.
What is it now.. almost 40. Well. Like I said before.. I’ve outlived J.K. Toole.. and that guy who wrote Leaving Las Vegas. O’Brien. I still like to see a doctor once a year. He usually says something about my liver enzymes. The only real question I have is if I’ll live long enough to get Social security. Free money, at last.
Almost daily I am horrified by things my parents say. Horrified. But, they’re the employable ones in this household. Explain that to me. It is only by confusing and distracting these “normal” people do we get to avoid Apocalypse. They never get enough time to put their foolishness into action. I do. they always have some fucking appointment.. or bill to pay.. some equally insane relatives to talk to.
I do not bother my head about these things…
I watch people run around as if they have cancer (terminal), but to me it seems like they really just forgot to water their plants. Once. Why do you need so many plants?
So, you see, for all practical purposes, I have cracked immortality. I have something like 8500 days left until retirement. What.. what haven’t I done. Always wanted a boat, I guess. But the nice ones are expensive. Would I like to travel somewhere? No. I don’t…
A few weeks ago I figured out I can pee and brush my teeth simultaneously. I used to not brush my teeth at all for weeks.. sometimes. but now, I realized I do have a free hand for most of the time that I am peeing. So I can be slightly more presentable. Remember that? We always get what we need. But not always what we want. Peeing, in the bathroom is a pretty hard requirement. Everything else is kind of a wish-list item. I don’t really see what I get out of it.
What. what are we Really here for? I watched one of the movies about Yogananda recently. As the prospective disciple bows, the great Guru asks if he struggles with Sex, Wine or Money.
No, sir. Not a problem at all. if there’s money, I usually buy Sex. And wine. Hehe. He didn’t say that. I did.
No, I suppose I’m not monk material. But I always had some suspicion that there must be some logic behind all the insanity I see. In the mind of God, at some quantum level, if you go far enough back.. or deep into the cells and atoms, maybe I’ll figure something out and things will make sense. Maybe I’ve got to help the person I screwed over 7 lifetimes ago. and THEN I would feel complete and satisfied. But where is this person? I need a sign.
Time to go see the Doctor, I guess.
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